Qualia

The reaper only comes once the lid’s close
So I suppose
That I’ll keep my pupils dilated
Some may not understand how long I waited
For what I believe in to come true
I refuse to let everything that I been through
Claim who I was when there’s so much more to me
Than the traumatic experiences that tried to erase my identity
The tip of my blade once chipped away the black and blue bruises that I obtained
Until it had stained
The spaces that held the never-crossed lines with texts of those who served sentences
My conviction is where entrance is
I fell in battle when I had hit a wall
And my eyes were a blink away from answering Death’s call
Until I looked up and pleaded with the world that’s only been dark
And it replied with a spark
It was a minor light
But enough for me to fight
Even though I’m gagged
After being dragged
Away with the enemy
That display gave me the energy
To live once more
And utter the belief I once held before
Since the opposing king did hear it
He decided to test my spirit
“Since you’re fond of wishing and fairytales
Why don’t you spend time in my well”
And so I fell
Once again
With no pen
To carve out what awaits
I contemplate on my fate
In a well with no water
To wash over the quarters
That could’ve been carried over to the Ferryman
Just a lid above being sealed like every can
Disposing of its trash
Or like an urn holding its ash
But I will not die
I will not cry
I refuse to become undone
“Good, so you’re one of the strong ones”
A voice reverberated from amongst the shadows
And , for a moment, I questioned where did the courage I had go